Visitation

I don’t think the pain of losing a loved one will ever go away. Last night I had a visitation dream from my cousin Kara who passed away almost five years ago. I can’t believe that much time has gone by already. At that moment of time, I was barely living my dreams yet… I was still figuring out who I was and who I wanted to be at 27. I had a career as a Graphic Designer, but it was not my true passion. Years ago, I used to talk to her about all the things I dreamt of doing. And the last 4 years, I did them. Though a part of me still very much so wishes that she is still here.

Just a quick note: I found a website that explains the 8 signs of a Visitation Dream that I found very enlightening. I borrowed some of the characteristics but you can go onto this site and look at more examples. Here are some that resonate with me:

  • Characteristic #3:  Because they are so real and so vivid, you will remember visitation dreams very clearly for days, months, years . . . probably for your entire lifetime!
  • Characteristic #6:  When they do communicate (either verbally or non-verbally), it isn’t because they want to engage in idle “chit-chat.”  It isn’t easy for deceased loves ones to enter a dream.  They come with a purpose, and they will convey the message and then be gone.
  • Characteristic #7:  Most often, their messages fall into the category of “reassurance.”  They come to let you know that they are fine and that they want you to be happy.  Occasionally, they will come with a warning; however, when giving a warning, they will give you loving support and you will feel reassured by their presence.
  • Characteristic #8:  After a visitation dream, when you wake up, you will often be filled with a sense of peace and love.

Lately I have been unbelievably busy illustrating a children’s book with a writer, finishing my thesis book (so embarrassed that I am still working on it a semester after I finished grad school), and applying to different job listings has been very exhausting. And taking weekly workshops to keep drawing and staying motivated by surrounding myself with other artists. I live a pretty responsible life, like I’m going on 40 which I’m hardly close to just yet! So you can imagine how much little time I have for any sort of “fun”. I do have a tendency to over think meeting new people, going out on dates, and going out and doing things that I have not tried before. I am open, yet I forget that I do need to live a little and have more fun. If my cousin Kara were still here, she would force me to go out and enjoy myself! She is the ultimate fun police. A good friend of mine just the other week was like, go live your life! Stop moping! Not that I’m moping, I live in my head.

Let me just say that my cousin Kara visits me in my dreams every few months, I think the last time has been a while and I know she came to visit because lets face it– I need to be reminded to have fun!

In my dream she was sitting down with a fancy white laptop typing away and working. And I say Hey! Like its so normal and that nothing ever changed. And I was like, “its been so long since we last saw each other. What have you been up to? We need to catch up!” Then she glances up and says, “we’ll have many opportunities to catch up. Oh you know I’m eating healthy now, on a good diet, I got a dog! And we go out for long walks in the morning and its very relaxing. I live a very peaceful life. Busy, but happy.” And then somehow I leave her and let her go to bed because its night time. And then the next day she invited me to attend a friend’s get together at a very tall and narrow house, reminding me of the houses in San Francisco. It was like how it used it be when she was still alive– how we’ve gone out and done things together. Then in the dream she introduces me to her friends and its a very mellow and relaxed environment with food and drinks.

Then I wake up. And I was happy– then I started to cry lots! And I cried all morning and couldn’t get any work done. Because I realized how much I missed her. I really thought she would be in my life until we grew old and that we would sit outside drinking Cosmos and Margaritas, chit chatting about boys, silly stuff…playing rock band on the xbox, making spinach dip, going out dancing at the gay clubs in Hillcrest San Diego because we would be guaranteed awkward straight men wouldn’t grind on us when we danced! We would sit for hours in her room every Sunday and watch Friends or Katt Williams on netflix. Or I would come over and do her eye makeup before she went out somewhere special with her friends. When I felt so bummed out she would always tell me to forget about it and go out dancing. She literally forced me to come out during the week to bars and clubs. We really did  have some great times.

It was a moment in time that came and passed. But moments I will cherish for many years to come. The pain of losing someone never leaves, but you do go on… you live. You learn to live with it and come to peace about it.

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2008. Me on the left, my cousin Kara on the right.2430707869_7a14b5aac6
2008. Goofing around inside a party bus with our friends.
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With our other cousins at an art show, 2008.

Dreams as a Wake Up Call

I haven’t blogged! Life has been crazy in the last couple of months. I have decided to embark on a new journey and am moving back across country to California today! I knew New York City wasn’t a place that I could see myself settle down in and I knew I was just passing through, but for how long I wasn’t sure just yet.

There were some physical signs and hints from the universe that I didn’t listen to at first. The first one was my eleven year-old son not wanting to return to New York for the fall school year after he had spent a year with me in New York City.  After a summer in San Diego he didn’t want to leave. The next one was my apartment lease expiring exactly in September. Then I had a profound dream on September 7th. And I couldn’t ignore it anymore, I woke up and everything else that I decided was based on this dream and I combination of the first few signs.

I feel like something amazing happened to me while I was studying abroad in Italy, a change of environment helped me to view life differently. And most importantly, it brought me back to the root of my passion. It slowed me down tremendously from my busy, go-go life in New York City.

I honestly had been feeling like my time in New York City was done, I was meant to be there for a certain time period, to grow as a person professionally, mentally, and emotionally. I feel so much stronger than I did before. I really fixed my finances! And rebuilt myself financially. I finally was out of a long depressing funk that started back in 2008 and 2009 was the hardest year of my life. New York really did wonders for my mental well being.

But its not a sad ending leaving NYC, I’m going to be back and forth in the next few months that I’m sure of, one of my best friends from Cali also now lives in New York City and is giving birth to her first baby soon!

So many endings on so many different notes, I’m also in my last semester of grad school online and I’ve been working on my thesis this last month. Now I’ll be able to have a little more time doing that and freelancing some work between projects.

My Dream:

I was in an apartment with one of my old friends and roommate from San Francisco. And then there was a third roommate, a girl who was dead at first and only her top half was visible, she was detached from the bottom of her ribs, and her bottom half was somewhere else. And then we somehow found her bottom and attached it back to her body and she started moving. She got up and started walking around wobbly and was like a harmless zombie bumping into the walls until finally she was exhausted and fell over. I told my roommate I can’t deal with this it’s too much so I left and drove off because I was going to my interview for my new job. And I drove my car only it was manual and not automatic– and I was going up and down hills through streets that were a combination of San Francisco and San Diego. Adjusting the shift of the car when it was too high I would downshift to get a better momentum going up the hilly streets. Then for some reason I stop at a cafe for a doughnut because I was hungry and that’s all I order. And I look up the directions of the interview on my phone. Then my friend calls me to tell me he’s waiting to interview me and to take my time. Then he picks me up in this big van with comfy seats and there are tiers of rows stacked above each other. He was on the higher tier of the row of seats and I tried to pick a seat and I almost sat on the first level but then I joined him at the top tier and I said this is better and comfortable and I can see everything now. And I told him about the weird situation with the dead roommate and how I was fearful that if I didn’t get away I would be next too. And then he just listened and drove me off to my destination. And that was it.

I really think this above dream is a metaphor for what was going in my life in the past few months. I wasn’t living to my highest potential and that to keep doing what I was doing would have burnt me out really bad. After speaking to some friends about the interpretation of this dream, I’ve come to the conclusion that the body cut in half represents me. The top part of the body is the conscious waking mind and the bottom part of the body ( the legs) is a symbol for movement and being free. I’m not going to go into details about how I felt about my old job, but the bottom line was that my creativity felt like it was being cut off and that I thought it wasn’t a job that I can move up in since it was such a small family owned business. I was also torn living in New York after my son Izaiah didn’t want to come back and I had been feeling like my heart really belonged in California. Its crazy what kinds of things our dreams can show us. I have always been one to listen to my dreams, as most of my dreams in the past have given me great insights into my own life. I’ve seen things before they happened in my life and for other people’s lives around me that I know. I once had a dream back in 2009 of the house that I moved into in San Francisco and had spoken to my landlady on the phone in the same dream. She told me her name in my dream before I even met her. When i found the craigslist ad for her room for rent, her name showed up and it felt like deja vu. I knew then that it was meant to be.

I’m not going to lie, but I had planned on switching careers and have been wanting to work in the Animation industry. My background and schooling is Visual Development for Animation and I knew it was a matter of time until I started wanting to find work in something that I am completely passionate about. I think this is where the difficulty laid. I was working in a job that had no future for me and a job that I didn’t see my future in. One of my older friends gave me some insight, while the older generation had always worked within a stable company for years and stayed loyal– working to save for their retirement and 401K, the younger generation that I belong to– as do my peers, we have no want or need for that. Instead we stay with companies to do projects until it is carried out and move on to something else that will also challenge us to do even more. And I think that is how life is supposed to be– that we are to utilize all of our creative talents for different projects and to keep progressing up as we go through life.

I am excited about the future and what it can hold for me, I never thought I’d move back to California so soon. I had planned to stay out in New York for another year but low and behold plans change and when things start to not feel right anymore—we have to listen to our gut intuition. Sometimes the conscious mind will try and tell us that this isn’t the most logical decision, but our spiritual bodies know that we are meant and destined for something even more amazing. So I say listen and pay attention to your dreams, for they can be a great wake up call towards the life you are meant to live.

I am a Story Artist.

This is a video of a presentation that I recently made at the Beekman 33 Salon in New York City this last March. It was sort of a Salon to give individuals a chance to showcase themselves, their creativity, or their business. I’ve been meaning to post this but life got so busy! I wanted to post this to give people an idea of who I am and what I do, I now realize that this video really does give others an insight as to who I am. As a story artist as you’ll soon come to find out in the video, I create concept art for the purpose of telling a story. I am grateful that I have found this career path and lucky enough to realize it while I’m still young. The business of telling stories that evoke the imagination and touch the hearts of others is what I enjoy doing the most. I hope you enjoy this video and that it inspires you in your own life. Comments, questions, please tell me what you think!

Salute!

Out of Body

So I’ve set out on this 8 week adventure in Europe last Friday and have been visiting my good friend Kristy who  lives in Dublin. Then I head off to Rome tomorrow morning. This is the first time I’ve ever traveled in Europe. So far so good, everything has been amazing these last two days. I’m having the time of my life! I woke up early this morning from my night out of fun and drinking in Dublin. The first time I really let myself go in a long time, I have been super busy in the last few months with school and work. When I woke up, I was severely dehydrated and had one too many glasses of Guinness last night! It really does taste different from the Guinness in the U.S. I then saw my aunt text me so I called my aunt and then spoke to my grandmother on the phone back in California trying to fix my phone for international travel.

Anyway, I then tried falling back to sleep. Tossing and turning in bed every which way. I thought I was still awake but I was not. My spirit self came out of my body. I was in the astral plane again and I think this happens mostly when I’m tired and feeling really off balance. I’ve had many experiences like this since I was small and many of them when I was in high school coming home from dance practice exhausted. But in this case and all the other times that this has happened in the past was when my body has physically reached its limits and also physically traveling– is quite exhausting especially when there is a lot of time difference involved. Your body is out of wack. I also have been traveling from New York to San Diego to see my family just in the last two weeks and this past week I was so busy packing and getting things ready for my trip that I wasn’t really able to get much sleep.

I read somewhere that Native American Indians in the past would do the spirit dance rituals for days and this helped them to force their spirit out of their bodies to prepare for astral travel. Its a really confusing and interesting phenomenon. Science says its some kind of body paralysis but it really felt like my consciousness was outside of me.

I don’t think I was dreaming. 

I was seeing the room where I am staying as is but I couldn’t move my body. I thought my friend Kristy was awake and coming into the room to talk to me. But she wasn’t! She was sound asleep in the other room. All of a sudden these four people appeared, they looked Asian and they were all wearing white. I didn’t get the vibe that they were going to harm me but more of An energy of protection. Then one of the ladies came up to my bed where I am sleeping and touched my back and said, “Diane, wake up.” And then I was screaming for my friend Kristy. Only nothing came out.

And then there was this moment I think when the room felt like it was spinning and energy buzzing or this weird sensation like electricity around me. And then I slowly started opening my eyes. My real eyes. And then everything was in focus and I was awake. The first thing I thought was again? But wait there was something new this time. There were people there protecting me and I thought this is the first that I’ve seen anybody else there while I’m in the astral plane. Its usually a very lonely and confusing experience. They felt like they were protecting me, there were three women all with black hair and white blouses and skirts and the fourth one was a man wearing a suit, he was the farthest from me. And then I thought they must be my spirit guides looking out for me. I know that in the last day I’ve been hearing or thinking that I should call my guides more often and ask them for help.

Humans have free will, our guides can only merely suggest and communicate to us telepathically and in our dreams. We do have to ask for help, when we think we are alone– we are never alone. There are spirit guides protecting us always to help us carry out our life mission/purpose on earth. Except we forget that they continually give us guidance and reminders– and this is true for me when I feel as though I should do something or even holding back from doing something. Something inside tells me, my intuition takes over. And I feel whether things are right or wrong.

Sometimes there are no words to describe these experiences that I have and the feelings that accompany them. I find myself searching for words that can make some kind of sense but it’s still very hard to communicate exactly what it is. I don’t understand these experiences most of the time and I wish there were some kind of manual or someone like an angel to explain these things to me!

While we live in such a physical world and the constant emphasis on day to day living– we don’t realize that there may be some other places that exist only we can’t see, touch, taste, or smell them. I have come to terms with the part of me that has this very psychic and intuitive nature and made peace with the fact that I am merely just a channel for information and creativity to pass through. My life is my life but what I create comes from outside of me somewhere in this great big universe I am just a piece of a puzzle. Our world still needs constant evidence of these other planes of existence, I know I still do– there is no way to just remember these experiences all the time because as we go on, our recollection of these dreams and outer worldly experiences decreases and all is lost. I always make it a point to try and record them as soon as I wake up.

But I also think and always ask, we dream every night and when we go to bed we are also astral traveling– what makes this out of body experience different from these dreams? Why then does my consciousness come outside of myself? What is the purpose of this in our lives? I think there is a great big secret, a part of our human memory and history that has gotten lost and forgotten. Something we’ve done before many times– only maybe now we are re-discovering these abilities that we’ve always possessed within us.

What do you think of out of body experiences? Have you ever had similar experiences, and how did you feel upon first waking?

 

Love and Light

Diane

Dream Facts

I’m sure there are many more out there, but here is a list that I thought was interesting. Source here.

Interesting Dream Facts:

  1. Every human dreams. There are tons of people who can’t remember their dreams when they wake up, but they still get them
  2. Human beings spend roughly around 6 years of their lifetime dreaming
  3. Sometimes we dream outside of our REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement)
  4. Thousands of years ago, the Egyptians were the first to create a dream dictionary in 4000 B.C.E
  5. We roughly spend around 1/3 of our lives sleeping
  6. People who suffer from a personality disorder lack dream activity
  7. Our brains tend to be way more active when we sleep, than when we’re awake
  8. Humans tend to have around 3 to 7 dreams a night. We dream around 2 to 3 hours in a whole night
  9. 90% of the dream is lost the first minute we wake up
  10. Drug withdrawal can cause more intense dreams. People who also quit alcohol and smoking experience heavier dreams and nightmares
  11. You can lucid dream for up to 30 minutes if trained properly
  12. It’s impossible to dream when you’re snoring
  13. People who experience Sleep Paralysis hear voices and see strangers in their rooms
  14. Nightmares happen more to kids than adults
  15. Blind people dream. Their dreams are auditory if they were born blind. If they became blind at an early age, they still dream of what they remember
  16. Your body burns more calories sleeping than it does in the day time
  17. Information that we learn before we go to bed tends to stick with us longer than information any other time
  18. If you avoid your sleep for more than 10 days, you will die
  19. Most dreams are based on visual images (Except in people who were either born blind, or who lost their sight at an early age). Occasionally, dreams will include sound and touch.
  20. The normal rules of logic do not apply in dreams. For example, the dream may be taking place in one location – then, abruptly, the dreamer is translocated to a completely different place.

Random Dream Last Night.

I had a dream last night that Skype went out of business and that we couldn’t use the Skype app on our phone anymore for good. It was like out of commission. Whaaat? Why would I dream about Skype? I could care less, I use Face time and Tango! Hahaha.

Ok, but seriously though why would I dream about this? Why would I even care? I’m so unaware of current events in this world that its so interesting that this would even show up in my dream. I’ve been in my own little private bubble of working at my 9-5 corporate job as a Graphic Designer in the hustle bustle of New York City and then going home to study for my online grad classes that I’m finishing up through the Academy of Art Univ in San Francisco. I’m so busy and consumed with working on my thesis in Animation that I’m always either drawing, drawing, or drawing! So really I rarely have any other extra time to read up on current events, let alone watch the news.

Its no secret or even a surprise to me that I would have these randomly weird dreams, I’ve been having pre-cognitive dreams and dreams out of the ordinary for as long as I’ve been alive.

So I posted this on my Facebook and got some random comments. A friend of mine said that Skype ripped him off while he tried to buy a Skype number and apparently banned his account for reasons that nobody at Skype can explain or do anything about. He said my post was funny timing on his situation. And then some other comments about if I thought artists were in tune with the spiritual world? YES! We most certainly are, people who are creative in many ways tap into this intuition and perhaps we have the ability to see different possibilities.

What’s happening is that I’m tapping into a collective consciousness, and we all have the power to do this whether we believe it or not. There is a Hive Mind going on, and maybe being the intuitive I am– I am on the receiving end of this energy… ? [Scratching head]

It gets weird, I googled Skype this morning and apparently there are a few articles and blogs online that have negative things to say about the company. I found a blog from someone who used to work there and didn’t receive any of their stock options after they left the company, read here.

I also found another article written about “Skype’s Worthless Employee Stock Option Plan” it discusses how employees at Skype aren’t able to keep their vested portion of their stock options, interesting stuff. I have no idea why I would dream about this, I’m really not interested in investing in stocks. But I think maybe start up companies and the way they run their businesses may be coming up to the surface now and there could be a lesson we are learning collectively through these examples.

Maybe you’ve stumbled upon my blog for a reason? Who knows. Maybe we need to look at what’s going on in the global economy… old methods are crumbling, many changes shifting through businesses and the environment. I don’t know. I’m just a girl who dreams. And maybe having a dream like this forces me to think and look outside of myself because I am often contained in my own personal bubble. [I can’t help it I’m an introvert, my bubble makes me feel safe] I did just that today when I googled and read all these stories about businesses that seem unrelated to my own personal interests. But I do know one thing, we are all connected even if you feel you are totally alone. You are not, someone somewhere else could be having the same experience as you or feeling the same thing as you. Randomly, I also found an interesting article on 9/11 Victims who foresaw their deaths and precognitive dreams,  click here to read.

While I believe in the psychic and supernatural world, I always do a heavy and thorough research on the internet to back up my findings. Not just to seem credible to people reading my writing but also because I need that substantial proof myself. I constantly need VALIDATION for what these intuitive gifts show me, and sometimes I wonder what’s your point universe?!! I KNOW I’m tapped into something bigger than me that I can’t always logically explain, but I’m also very grounded in the here and now because I want to be in this world and not in some weird fantasy world. (Although I’m obsessed with reading Fantasy Fiction.)

I am DREAMER through and through, but I also believe I have a good sense of logic to ground me. (Now I do!)

Ghosts

Dreams are so crazy. Where do I even begin? I’ve been having weird dreams and epiphanies since I was a kid. I’ve been recording my dreams for a really long time now. You can imagine how many stacks of notebooks I’ve filled up just from writing my dreams down!

Months ago, last November of 2012, I had a dream I was on live t.v. on a ghost hunter show. In my dream I was in a team of people walking through an old house looking for ghosts or anything out of the ordinary. I remember feeling in my dream that I was never going to find anything and that it was all bullshit. That the ghosts we were hunting or trying to find weren’t even real. How crazy to think that in my dream? And maybe this is what I’m thinking in my life now? I feel like my perspective about a lot of different things are changing, I no longer view the world one way but from a place where I can totally separate my emotions and take myself out of the equation. I’m starting to look at things from a bigger expanded view and not through a pigeon hole.

Or maybe there are make believe ghosts in our lives that we think are real but aren’t completely all true? I’m starting to think that these “ghosts” in places that we think are haunted are completely non existent. That maybe this all stems from our fears. That maybe our own FEARS help manifest and CREATE things in our reality.

The dream I had made me think of what it was a metaphor for in my life now. And I know it could be the way I thought of things for a really long time. About God and praying and thinking that there is some sort of deity or higher thing that I should be afraid or grateful for in owing my existence to. I don’t know what’s out there, and I know that our human mind may not completely have all of the capacity to understand all there is to know.

And sometimes certain things in our life magically orchestrate themselves by aligning us with like minded individuals who help us understand and see things from a different point of view. I am used to believing that there is a God somewhere but I am in no way religious nor do I side with any religious views. For a really long time I knew that Christianity or Catholicism was never something I wanted to continue practicing. I had grown up Catholic and believe it or not I have spent a good amount of time going to a Christian church with my one of my aunts in San Diego when I was in high school. I’ve read the Bible inside and out. I found myself feeling really constrained and limited by what it preaches. I don’t doubt that it is the word of God that he channeled through people in history but I also think that it was relevant for its time.

I do however think that it is irrelevant for this time. And I know a lot of people may disagree with me, and I don’t hate Christianity – I will never do. But the way Christians think comes from a limited perspective and a place of lack, and I think that they accept things for what they are. I often hear, “This is God’s plan for you.” But quite frankly, we have the power to create our own future. I think if more of us took responsibility for where our lives are going and direct it so that we are living from the place that is aligned with our heart’s true passions, then you never have to see the challenges as something bad – but a way to motivate you and keep you going.

For the last 10 years of my life I secretly studied and devoured a lot of astrology, psychic energy and mysticism. The last 3 years brought me to a place where I actually learned to use my psychic gifts in helping other people and really learning to use this skill positively. Without focus or concentration this skill may never evolve. And this is true for everybody – we all have this ability even if you think you aren’t intuitive or tapped in at all, you’d be surprised what you are able to see with a little practice! I met and learned through another gifted Clairvoyant, Debra Lynne Katz who was my mentor for a little over 6 months back in 2009. This was the first time that I really started to see what the human mind was capable of given these exercises to practice and cultivate. Two years into it I was really unbalanced with my physical world. Because I was tapping into weird things, I wasn’t completely focused in this world. Quite frankly my sanity was somewhere else. But I’m glad that I live in the here and now and more focused on the present. You have to be if you want to direct the future you want to have.

We don’t know if this “God” is a higher power or if there even is one. But what we all can relate to is a mysterious universal energy that guides our lives. There is a one energy that exists out there and this is what keeps us connected, that maybe this “God” consciousness connects us all and that we are God having different types of experiences and seeing the world from different perspectives. At least I’d like to think so.